


25 Days Has September - Alcohol

by Davechicken



Series: 25 Days Has September [17]
Category: Revolution (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-17
Updated: 2013-09-17
Packaged: 2017-12-26 21:07:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/970309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Davechicken/pseuds/Davechicken
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>25 prompts for 25 days of September until Season 2</p>
            </blockquote>





	25 Days Has September - Alcohol

Things Jeremy Baker is no longer allowed to do when organising birthday parties, an essay by Captain Jeremy Baker aged 33.

1\. **Vodka potato chips and dips.** Just because vodka is made of potatoes, it does not mean it goes with it as an accompaniment, and it is a waste of good salsa and guacamole when you put that much vodka in.

2\. **Musical accompaniments.** Just because everyone else has hauntingly beautiful music inside them, the correct response to not being able to play the guitar is _not_ to stick a didgeridoo _there_ and attempt to play 'Happy Birthday To You'

3. **Piñatas.** Piñatas are cute and cool especially when they are filled with sweets. It is not a good idea to try and put small fluffy animals in one, no matter how many times I yell 'It's a cat in a cat in a hat fancy that!' 

4\. **Party games.** Spin the bottle is for teenagers. Strip poker is for adults. Pin the tail on the Sergeant is for nobody.

5\. **Tattoos and brands.** Tattoos and brands are for life, not just for Bass' birthday party. The fact that all Militia soldiers are branded is not an excuse for turning up with 'Hello Kitty' brands and insisting my superior officers bend over.

6\. **The chain of command.** Everyone's heard the fucking Firefly joke, and I am not to use it any more. If I do, I might find myself attached to the ceiling by the chain of command to my favourite bits of me.

7\. **The chain of command (again).** It would not be fun to be attached to the ceiling by the chain of command to my favourite bits, and if I keep insisting it would be, I will find out why Bass keeps telling me this.

8\. **Horses are not invited to the birthday parties of the Monroe Republic.**

9\. **Cakes.** If I insist on putting on a pink G-string and jumping out of a cake, I will make damn sure it is not coconut.

10\. **Texas.** It is not a sufficient birthday present to promise I will deliver Texas, or die in the attempt. Appropriate birthday presents will therefore be delivered by the end of the week.


End file.
